Saturday, July 11, 2009

Moving through the days....



No reason for the picture above, except I like it....not representative of anything right now(except maybe a yearning for the sense of peace that the water brings me)...it's just a memory of time spent on Mayne Island in June, and the beauty that can be captured there. Truth is I love photography....sometimes I wish I'd followed more of my passions in my early years...I wonder what I'd be doing now? Oh well, the good news is that I'm fortunate enough to get to dabble with them at this stage of life...

Been an on/off week. Things seemed to be going okay, but then for no apparent reason, another melt down hits me, and I'm stalled in my tracks again. It's an endless wave, this grief. Days go by where you think that it's finally subsiding, then up she rises again. It's all very exhausting, and frustrating, as there's so much that I'd love to get done or accomplished in a day, and so often I just can't get things done. Hate that!

Was going through some pictures from our vacation in June and found the ones below, taken from the ferry on the ride over to Salt Spring. I'd forgotten all about it almost, and finally looked it up today. We were going across the ferry and looked up at the sun (for some silly reason...not likely the safest thing to do, but whatever!)...and there was a complete circle around it, extremely beautiful but eerily strange to look at. Apparently it's called a 22 degree Halo...as explained below. Here I thought it was some psychic phenomena I was experiencing!


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia









A 22° halo is a rather frequently appearing halo, an optical phenomenon forming a circle 22° around the sun, or occasionally the moon. It forms as sunlight is refracted in hexagonal ice crystals suspended in the atmosphere. As the light beam passes through two sides of the prism forming a 60° angle, the angle of minimum deviation is almost 22° (e.g. 21,84° in average; 21,54° for red and 22.37 for blue.) This wavelength-dependent variation in refraction causes the inner edge of the circle to be reddish while the outer edge is bluish.[1] A 22° Halo may be visible on as many as 100 days per year.[2]

Pathway of light through a hexagonal prism in the optimal angle resulting in minimum deviation.

Light passing through the hexagonal ice prisms is deflected twice which produces deviation angles ranging from 22° to 50°. Lesser deviation results in a brighter halo along the inner edge of the circle, while greater deviation contribute to the weaker outer part of the halo. As no light is refracted at smaller angles than 22° the sky is darker inside the halo. [3]



22° halos form when the sky contains millions of poorly oriented ice crystals. Some of these happen to be aligned perpendicular to the sun light as viewed by one observer which produces the illuminated 22° circle, while other crystals produces the same phenomenon for other observers. An Alexander's band can be seen inside the halo. [4]

Like other ice halos, 22° halos appear when the sky is covered by thin cirrus clouds containing the ice crystals which causes the phenomenon. Small colourful coronas much nearer the sun produced by water droplets can occasionally be confused with 22° halos. [5]









Okay, so I guess it's easily explained...but still pretty cool, gotta admit!








Busy here trying to wrap up finishing details so I can get the cd to production. Busy trying to pick out pictures, and make sure I have what I need done, but it's exciting to be back at this stage again. I'm worried about how I'm going to release this one...the year has left me battered, and I don't see myself the centre of a cd release party this round, but maybe by the time I have things ready, I'll be in a better place emotionally. I'm really happy with how this one is turning out, and the songs that are on it. Sometimes I listen to the master and worry that there's too many songs about loss and grief, especially after the last year and a half, when many of the songs were written. I've decided just to go with it as is, as there's some humor and general stories as well. As for the grief, I figure it's the one equalizing factor for all of us....none of us come out of this unscathed, and maybe what I've written to help myself and other's get through our losses might help the next guy as well....who knows.
Anyhow, off to put on my other hat now, and sort cows....whoooweeee fun Sunday stuff!
Till next time,
Lynda
www.musicwriter.ca




Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Memories of a busy June...



June was a month to remember, a month of tough firsts, a month of baby steps moving forward. It started off with a much needed escape to the coast. Since Shane's passing I spend much of my weekend throwing myself into work so that the time that should be spent with him isn't so overwhelmingly heartbreaking. On Mother's day weekend, while working at my computer, Air Canada sent an email offering a wonderful rate for trips to Vancouver. I grabbed the flights!
We went out, immediately renting a car a heading for the ferry that would take us to Salt Spring Island. It was where we got married in 2004, and where we decided to spend this year's anniversary.
There is something about landing on that island that always gives me this feeling of 'aahhh, I'm home.' It draws me back year after year, and this year was no exception. From the time I landed the vice that has clenched my heart for months now released slightly, and I felt the weight lift off me for the first time in ages. I actually felt I could breathe, and for a short while the sadness lessened. It was such a welcome respite!
After a few days there, we made our way back to the mainland, visiting a dear friend on Mayne Island, then to Maple Ridge to spend time with friends and family there. I also finished the recording of the last two songs that are going on the cd, which now finally feels like it's ready for production.

This year, on Father's Day (June 21, 2009), 5 of my coworkers, as well as Cecil, Ryan and I all walked the 10 K portion of the Manitoba Marathon in Shane's memory. Through so many generous contributions, we collected $2,400 for Marathon, which raises money to support Manitoba's living with intellectual disabilities to live full, rich lives in community. I was actually amazed at the support we received, considering how generous people have already been in Shane's memory over the past several months in supporting the Children's Rehab centre, Sunshine Dreams and Variety club. It was quite remarkable. It was also remarkable that I managed to get through. The day Shane died was the day my walking stopped...which I had been so proud of darnit! Anyhow, in the months between his death and the marathon, I only was able to walk twice...the rest of the time my hips were just too crazy sore to think about it. I was very scared that after having raised so much, and committed to it that I wouldn't be able to complete the event (even more worried that I might not be able to start!)..strangely, the day before I met a lady who felt she could be of some assistance by giving me a Reiki treatment...something I'd barely heard of, let alone had...so I decided it couldn't hurt to try, and I can honestly say though much of what happened is beyond my understanding, I got through the walk, my hips have hurt very little since, and that day was the start of my getting back into my daily 45 minute walk routine. It feels so good to be doing that for myself again...now if I can just get the rest of my world back on some sort of track!



Marathon Beauties: THE LIFERS (at 6:30 am....way too fresh!)



The Home Team (tired and blistered, but so happy to have participated and FINISHED!!)


June 25th marked another tough day, but one more day I was happy to be able to get through (I won't say alone, because I believe with every fibre that Shane was standing by my side, supporting me through it.) June 25th was Graduation at Shane's school, MacGregor Collegiate Institute. I had decided that this had to be the first year of the "Shane Dickson Memorial Award" for inclusion, and was determined to present it myself. It went like this:

For many years now, Manitoba department of Education, Citizenship and Youth has been committed to inclusion in schools throughout the province. They define inclusion as a way of thinking and acting that allows every individual to feel accepted, valued and safe. An inclusive community consciously evolves to meet the changing needs of it’s members. Through recognition and support, an inclusive community provides meaningful involvement and equal access to the benefits of citizenship.

Miller and Katz define inclusion as “a sense of belonging, feeling respected, valued for who you are, and feeling a level of supportive energy and commitment from others so you can do your best work.”

When we started looking at what the educational world for Shane Dickson was going to look like in the mid nineties, there were questions as to what we would be able to teach a child with his kinds of needs. What we didn’t realize was how much Shane was going to teach all of us. Shane’s years in both the elementary and collegiate schools of Macgregor proved to be a shining example of what inclusion could and should look like, as staff and students worked together to make his experience here the best it could be. Along the way, Shane always showed us the value of that commitment as he continued to blossom and grow within the environment created for him. He showed us that through a committed effort and the right attitude, regardless of a child’s challenges they could still be part of the whole.

At the time of his passing in March, Shane was saving towards a trip to California to explore and enhance communication systems that would allow him to keep helping the rest of us to keep moving forward, promoting inclusion for all persons. His family has decided that that money will continue to promote the philosophy of inclusion by turning it into an annual Memorial award in Shane’s name. This $500 award will go to the graduating student or students who most exemplifies an understanding of the importance of including all members of the student body through their words, actions and acceptance of others…for the way they support those around them to feel that they belong and are valued exactly as they are. It will not be tied into furthering education in any given field, recognizing that the people chosen may decide to use their gifts in many ways, and this will allow them to do so.

It’s a honor for me to present the first annual award to Stephen Zacharias, who has shown that personality strength over the course of time. It’s hoped that this award will encourage Stephen to go out into the world and continue to make the same positive difference in the lives of others as he made in the life of Shane.


I choked on the last few words, as once I got Stephen's name out, the rest kinda fell apart, but that's okay. The award landed where it was most deserved, and I'll be working hard to ensure that each year from here on out, that award will be available to keep Shane's memory and lessons to us all very much alive!

I think that about covers June, and once again, I'll try to get back here a little more often, but there are lots of crazy, exciting things happening over the next few months....and I'll share them as things solidify. For now, it's off for my walk, where yesterday I came across two baby skunks! They were very, very cute in their efforts to 'scare' me and Buddy off! I know I won't find them as cute in about 2 months when I'm working at getting their stink off my dogs, but for now....hey, they're babies!


Till next time,
Lynda

www.musicwriter.ca