Life in the fast lane

Wow....the end of March! I can't believe that it's been another three weeks since I found the time to sit down, catch my breath and follow my dream. Somethings gotta change, because I'm starting to feel that disconnect with my spirit that leaves everything off balance. The past several weeks have been incredibly busy with work, all in a good way, learning tons and moving forward, but incredibly busy none the less. Two weeks ago I added up my work related hours and it came to 69 for the week. Too much, especially considering when the work is done, the family still needs to be afforded the time they deserve. By the time that's done, there's definitely no time for Lynda. So, I'm making myself an April Fool's resolution (New Years ones don't seem to cut it for me somehow!) and starting tomorrow, things are going to have to be different. I know there will be struggle, and there will be guilt about the pile not done, but as I always say, I only have about 10,000 days left on this earth if all goes well! How do I want to spend those days?
Spring break is almost over, calving is underway, Tin Pan South in Nashville will be just about finished (so I can quit whining about that) and time moves on. Most of our snow birder friends are back home or on their way, so our little town is coming to life again. All is well, and busy beats bored.
I think that's all I'll post for now. We have a busy day ahead (I've decided that maybe leaving my posts till the end of the day isn't the wisest, as I can never keep my eyes open!). We're off to the big city to look at new bathroom fixtures. We didnt' get to Florida this winter and we didn't get to Nashville, so darnit we're going to get an upgraded bathroom! Some of it is indulgence, a lot of it is necessity. When this house was constructed in 1950, I don't think indoor bathrooms were necessarily thought to be a priority. When it did go in, it was quite compact. Compact is okay, but now that we have 2 wheelchairs in the family, it just doesn't work anymore, so it's time to make some changes. I'm excited because a wider room means a longer tub!! Whoohoooo! Life just keeps getting better I swear.
Promise I'll be back soon...then I'll fill you all in on the Femme Fix!
Later,
Lynda
www.musicwriter.ca

After the storm

Here it is March 6, the days just keep marching by, it's mind boggling. We're just finished digging out from a 3 day storm, and waiting to see what the rest of March has to offer us. I'm hunkered down in a quiet corner in Brandon. It is amazing what a wireless internet option can offer you in this day of ever changing technology. I'd applied myself in the hotel I was staying at until checkout time, then meandered around the mall for a very short time. When you have all you need in life, what do you shop for really. With hours left to fill between meetings, I headed back to the restaurant of the hotel I'd been staying in to have lunch, and lo and behold, here I am, wrapping up 2 hours of actual online work, and now posting my journal. Man, I know lots of you are used to this wireless world, but for those of us who have spent our technological years plugged in, this is amazing!
Like I said last post, music is suffering right now, but life is moving forward. I just spent 2 hours participating in an online course I'm taking, with people from the corners of the world. How crazy is that! It's really great to know that the goals that I'm chasing to advance life for the people I know that have disabilities are being chased by people all over the world. Maybe all of us together will hold the key to seeing change in our life and time.
Been a wild week. Work has taken the front seat again, but we also had fortune shine upon us also. I was struggling to get home in a nasty blizzard last week, when my husband called me to tell me he'd just received a call from a hockey club that he'd purchased a draw ticket through. Can you beleive that that ticket won him a brand new 2006 GMC Sierra 4X4 extended cab!!! wow, we the WayWaysecappo Wolverines are our new favorite hockey team...and we don't even watch hockey, but go WayWay GO!! I'm so happy for him. No one deserves it more than my man...he always puts the rest of the world first. It's his turn to enjoy something. Even last fall we started looking at upgrading the old truck that we have, and he decided it was more important with the amount of travel that I do in my job, that I have a 4 wheel drive vehicle, so he put me first, and decided to wait. It's almost like his patience was being rewarded. Nice to see.
I also had the opportunity last night to meet someone I've been communicating with via email for over 4 months with but never even actually spoke to. It was really great to finally get to meet the gentleman who worked so hard at perfecting my website and his wife. It's funny how close a person comes to the vision you have in your mind sometimes! Right down the the color of their hair.... It was great to finally put a face to the name and the signature. I know I've bragged about Heartland Graphics before, but honestly, it's been a great first experience for me to work with someone who understands all of this stuff so much more than I do. Thanks Chris, and great to meet you Susan.
Gotta run, once again, my time has slipped away. I'm just so glad that I found a break in my day to slip away to where I long to be!
Later,
Lynda
www.musicwriter.ca

Time in a bottle...

Wouldn't that be just about the sweetest thing in this crazy, fragmented world that we all live in these days? To be able to bottle it for the times when there just isn't enough, to uncap when you need the chance just to catch your breath... I could sure use some of that concoction of late.
I realized that I haven't had the opportunity to post for almost 2 full weeks. I shouldn't say that there hasn't been any opportunity...several nights I've sat down to try and clarify on record my thoughts...but my mind is just too tired. It's tired tonight as well, but I thought I'd better get back on the horse before I forget how to ride!
I'm hoping that things will ease off in the near future. I recently received a promotion at work that gives me a new half-time position...which is great, except that I'm still doing my full time position while everything gets sorted out. When Friday rolls around and I'm dead on my feet, I realize it's because I,ve been putting in some horrendous hours while I try to learn the new and maintain the old. I think it's getting easier, but there are still several busy weeks ahead. It's all okay though, I'm happy to be in a position of learning again. I always enjoy learning.
Music has taken a real back burner this past month while I sort out the business end of my life. I miss it, but I can't think about it...it causes too much pull on my heart. The only music I've been able to squeeze in was when I sang at an elderly aunt's funeral last week. It was odd, sitting at the front of the chapel, waiting for my turn so I could sing "Amazing Grace" and "In the Garden" in her honor. It occured to me that Auntie Kae Frizzley was the first person ever to have asked me to sing at a funeral. It was for her father, back in 1973. I was 12 years old, and I think those were the same songs I'd done then. As I sang my songs, I looked around at the faces of the friends, family and neighbors who had gathered to celebrate her life and mourn her passing, and I realized how many of those faces I've sang my songs for during their time of loss. It used to be if I was finding it difficult to sing at such an emotional event, I could pick out a face among the crowd for whom I'd never been asked sing in honor of a loved one for. I could focus on that face that didn't hold that connection, and I could get through the tough part and carry on. I realized last Friday, that there are getting to be fewer and fewer faces left to focus on...I guess I've been doing this for too long. Still, even when the going gets tough, I try to remind myself that it's the very last thing I'm ever going to be able to do for someone I cared about, and usually that sees me through.
I'd like to write more...sound more philosophical and intellectual...but I'm tired. Again! So, instead I'm going to retreat to the comfort of my bathtub, and prepare for the next three days on the road. With any luck I'll find the time and energy to post from there. If not, know you're not forgotten.
L
www.musicwriter.ca

A spontaneous breakaway...

The Grand Ole Opry House...I love this picture and the memories that it brings back! It seems like it was so long ago, but in reality it was less than a year. I keep telling myself that I don't need to trek back to Nashville this year, but a little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering a different line. I guess I'd better tell that little voice if it thinks it's heading south any time soon, it'd better get it's butt into the city to get a passport. I hear that's taking up to three months by mail if you don't have a day or more to sit there in line and wait. That alone should put the brakes on that darn little voice!

I guess I'm thinking back to last year's breakaway, because we're working at another one today. Only for about 48hours, but when I do all that I do to have this little breath of spontaneity, I can't imagine how we ever got away with last year's. Right now we're just trying to get off the farm for a day or two, but by the time the cows are taken care of, the arrangements are in place for Shane, the last load or two of grain is delivered, and all the lose ends for my job are tied up....somedays it's just easier to stay home!

I'm looking forward to getting into the city though. There's not a lot going on that's drawing us in, and its too cold to look at a lot of the stuff going on right now, but it's a change none the less. I'm hoping we'll have the chance to connect with some really neat people that we met last fall at the Western Canadian Music Awards. It's so nice to spend a little time with likeminded people, or should I say likeminded people for the "fun" side of my life. I spend most of my life with 'likeminded' people, but often that is others that are passionate about deeper, more serious things I deal with day to day. No, today it's going to be about a little fun. A little music, a little learning, a little change from the ordinary.

I assure you it's not going to be the Grand Ole Opry, but it is going to be a nice break.

L

www.musicwriter.ca

A lazy winter's day

We don't seem to get too many of those, but today was one. One of those days where you just do the bare necessity of what's expected of you.

It's still cold, colder than you care to deal with if you're wanting to go out and enjoy the sunshine, that insists on beaming down on us. The heat coming through the windows from that sunshine, kinda plays tricks on you. Making you think that it's nicer than it really is, trying to convince you to bundle up, come out an play. Not today.

It's one of those days, where I really would have chosen to stay in bed, that is if I'd had a choice. One of those days where you yearn for the freedom and irresponsibility of your youth, when the only one you answered to was yourself. Those days are long gone, no doubt about that, and now I almost find myself counting down the months until some of the responsibility I've handled for so long might be relieved a little. Of course those thoughts only bring on the guilt attached to thinking them. Surely good mother's don't think like that....or do they?

So instead of nestling under the covers, I've spent the day hunkered down in front of the fire. Mesmerized by crackling and beauty, doing only what is minimally expected and appreciating the opportunity to enjoy a lazy day. No, we just don't get enough of them.

L

www.musicwriter.ca

Thinking of the Winnipeg Fire Fighters...

On your average chilly, winter Manitoba morning, the alarms goes off, I roll out of bed, get Shane's breakfast started and head to the kitchen to make coffee. Looking out our large living room window, this is my typical view of the beautiful winter sunrises we are blessed with here in our valley.
Last Monday morning was not a typical one by any stretch. Knowing that the temperatures had plummeted to below -40c, I turned on the radio to see if school would be cancelled. That's when I heard the report of the 2 Winnipeg Fire Department captains who had been killed fighting a fire Sunday night. Like thousands of others across the province, my heart froze, waiting for more details that were slow to unfold. Like thousands of other listening, I waited with a knot in my stomach, hoping it wasn't one of the the three men I know who serve the city on that department. This time our family was fortunate, and for that we are grateful. This time those we know and love made it safely through, at least physically. This time.
I think all too often we forget the valiance of the men and women who choose to pursue a line of work which puts them in harms way through their dedication to ensure our safety. Jobs and careers where at any given time one wrong move, or one unknown component can end it all. Sadly, it takes a tragedy like the one that happened in the city last weekend to remind us all of those people and what they risk for us. Sadly, as with many things, our chance to show appreciation comes too late.
Tomorrow morning, looking out that living room window at the next beautiful sunrise, the world is going to look relatively unchanged. But for the families of those men, it is never going to be the same. For those that worked beside them and knew them as comrades and friends, the view will be forever altered. Our hearts are with all of those folks right now, and though there are not words that can change what happened or take away the pain of that, there is the opportunity to show our appreciations and to say thankyou. For all that you do, for all that you risk, and for all that you are.
L
www.musicwriter.a

Inside the world of dreams

Last night I spent another night conversing and sharing secrets of the song with Jann Arden. It was the same dream I dreamt last week. Funny how dreams can repeat themselves over and over and over. I guess it's true, a dream is just a wish your heart makes, and for a little while, you're heart is happy! Funny how a dream can do that, not that my heart isn't happy most of the time. I'm lucky, it is. It's just that there are things that are unlikely ever going to take place, that a part of you beleives would really have an incredible impact on your life, and for those moments before you wake, you're given just the faintest taste of what it would be like. Helps you wake up in a pretty darn good mood!

Actually, having the opportunity to meet Jann Arden isn't really a dream at all for me anymore. It was for a long time. I love her writing. I've attended every concert she's played in Manitoba, and have every one of her albums in my scattered collection. She's held firm and moved forward in a world where many tried and gave up, and she just keeps getting deeper, and funnier, and more authentic I think. I've even always been able to relate to her weight issues, we definitely share them. Then darn her, Jann Arden moved ahead and shed all those pounds...so here I am convincing myself that if an idol can do it when she's only two years younger than I, then darnit there is hope...and on I struggle again. And guess what, I may not be down the 50 pounds that Jann is able to claim, but I've seen 18 dissappear...and I figure this is my year to have the rest follow.

Anyhow, back to my story. I did have the opportunity to meet Jann Arden last October. In promising myself that I'm not going to miss opportunities to learn more, immerse myself more, and enjoy myself more when it comes to my music, I signed up for the Western Canadian Music Awards that were held in Winnipeg. Shortly before the week kicked off, I received the email calling for volunteers, so Cec and I talked it out and thought what the heck....let's do something just a little outside the realm that we're used to. Weirdly, the two of us were signed up to drive people back and forth from the airport. I had the incredible experience of driving Peter Jenner, who managed Pink Floyd and countless other bands. You're driving along thinking "my God, I'm escorting Peter Jenner around" and Peter Jenner is riding along thinking "My God, a farmer from Lavenham has my life in her hands!!". But in reality, he was wonderful, and interesting, and interested in what this farmer had to say. Quite the experience. Both Cec and I had the opportunity to meet really amazing people whose paths I know, had we not volunteered, would never have crossed.
Part of the week was a Songwriters session, where, you guessed it, Jann Arden was one of the panel. And low and behold, I had the fortune to have her listen to and critique one of my songs when it was randomly selected from the basket. Oh, I can not tell you what an idiot I must of looked like with my eyes brimming with tears, realizing the things that can happen when you put yourself out there and follow your dreams. Jann was very kind and supportive and encouraging, and told me to always keep writing. I wish there'd been time to tell her that I couldn't imagine ever not writing again. I wish I'd had time to thank her for all the times her stuff has got me through. I wish I'd had a chance to share with her how, when my first husband was 3/4 of the way through that awful battle he fought with cancer, I'd dropped him off for chemo then ran errands. "Blood Red Cherry" had just come out, so I picked it up, popped it in the cd player in the van, and headed back to the hospital. Heading back to the hospital, preparing myself for what I knew was ahead of us weekly post-chemo, wondering how long either one of us could keep this up the song "Piece of it all" started playing as the first selection on random...with the opening line "Right now, somebody loves you". I had to pull over, I couldn't stop the tears and I couldn't see through them. I so needed to be reminded of that at that moment, and the song did.
But I never got to tell Jann that either. I guess that's what dreams are for, telling all the folks who have passed through your life the things that you didn't manage to say in their presence. However, I did get an autograph, and I did get a picture of the two of us together, both of which I now can proudly display with my "Love is the only soldier" poster. And who knows, someday, maybe the opporunity will come again. Life is full of miracles!
So now I'm off, to dream a little dream...who knows who I'll share tonights conversation with!
L
www.musicwriter.ca