Sunshine Dreams for Kids supported Shane to have his Whale Watching trip in 2004, and it was a memory that created deep relationships and lifelong memories for all of us. I decided last summer to become a Sunshine dream for Kids Volunteer, in hopes of repaying some of the joy that we as a family had been given through their hard work and efforts. As our Manitoba chapter is very small, this web opportunity looked like the perfect way to support raising some funds and awareness of this wonderful organization, and to help me to give back to something that gave us so much!
Please take a moment to check out the link, and consider giving....Sunshine supports not only children who have life threatening illnesses, but also those children and their families who struggle with long term sickness and disabilities, among other wonderful things. Although they are celebrating their 25th year, they are not well known in Western Canada, and the hope is to change that!
Although this campaign was initiated to work over the holiday season to raise funds, I decided to make it my focus in January, when Shane would have celebrated his 20th birthday! As with so much, I do this in honor and in memory of him!
I realize it’s been a month since my last update, and I’m looking back at the past 4 weeks, knowing that the time since should have been the worst weeks of my life. There were so many tough firsts that came clustered together in that period, and although there were many, many tough moments, there has been a continual stream of small miracles, and unexpected opportunities that have allowed me to come out the other side of the tough stuff, feeling supported, loved and confident that the universe is conspiring to make it okay again. Even the creatures of nature seem to be in on the conspiracy offering me opportunities and glimpses of their majesty that continually remind me of how beautiful the world outside our door really is. I don’t know where to start with all that’s been happening.
....waiting for the Fulford Ferry, Christmas eve Morning, 2009
Maybe the first of those occurrences would have to be the beautiful Christmas Rose that appeared on the tree outside the house on December 23rd. If you read the November journal you’ll understand….as I was steeling myself for the holiday season one more beautiful pink rose appeared, so we added it to the wonderful bouquet that Cecil got me for our holiday center piece and it graced all the days of the holidays, travelling with us to the mainland and back again. My brother and his family provided us with a place to celebrate, and we started some of our own new traditions.
My beautiful Christmas rose, amongst the Bouquet of Roses Cecil got me.
A wonderful friend who has helped me through much of the last year because she’d gone down this road before me suggested that we light candles to represent those missing from our holiday table this year, and that helped. We took time away to go take some amazing pictures, went to a movie in an actual theatre for a change, and just did whatever we had to to get by…..and it worked. Friends and family near and far connected closely to ensure that I made it through, and for that I’m forever grateful.
...a candle for Shane, a candle for Dad and a candle for Mom turner.....
We took time away to go take some amazing pictures, went to a movie in an actual theatre for a change, and just did whatever we had to to get by…..and it worked. Friends and family near and far connected closely to ensure that I made it through, and for that I’m forever grateful.
A beautiful reflection taken from the new Golden Ears Bridge.
Another amazing thing that happened was because of a friend I’ve never personally met, but who has been an integral part of my support network over the past many months. Tom Mortensen stumbled across my website several months ago while exploring country music. What he found was a life very different from the one he enjoys in New York City, working out of Manhattan. But beyond the differences, we’ve also found commonalities in our love of music, of writing, of family and of what matters most in life. Among other things, Tom writes for a local magazine called “Forest Hills Celebrity & Entertainment”, and asked if it would be okay if this year he did an article about Shane and our journey together, celebrating both Shane and my music, titling it “Just One Life”. What an honor! And what a great job he did of celebrating Shane once again. To see the magazine and article in its entirety, you can go to http://www.foresthillscelebrity.com/FHC_Issue_20.pdf . Thanks Tom!
Forest Hills Celebrity Cover, Holiday 2009
About a week before Christmas I also got an email from Kevin Mills who hosts CRFY Radio’s “Made in Manitoba “series. I’d tried to connect with him prior to coming to the coast in the fall, but was unsuccessful. When he emailed he said we could do the piece over the phone as I wasn’t going to be available personally for a time. My understanding was that the segment was going to air on January 24th, so I didn’t say too much to anyone, but then on January 16th I found out that it was being aired the next day! The bad news is that it didn’t give me too much of an opportunity to give folks the heads up that it was going to be on the air, but the good news was that it was aired the day before what would have been Shane’s 18th birthday, and helped once again to celebrate him and his lessons…also the really good news is that CFRY radio now has podcasts of the “Made in Manitoba” segments that they do, so for anyone who’d like to catch it and didn’t get to hear it on the air, you can listen to it by going to http://www.portageonline.com/images/podcasts/lynda.mp3
Another miracle happened in late December. Maybe some of you remember the story of how I connected with a gentleman in Lavenham, Suffolk, England. Tony was writing a book about his Lavenham, and wanted to gather information on other Lavenhams of the world and stumbled across my website. I was able to help him gather information for the book he was writing, and in turn he was able to get my music played on BBC radio in England. We’ve continued the friendship, and when my new cd came out in September, Tony said that if I ever came to England, he’d love to organize a concert for me in the beautiful old church in town that was built in 1530!
This year’s happenings didn’t make it look like that was going to be possible for some time to come, because running away from home can be expensive to put it mildly, but the week before Christmas we were at a friend’s house and said that our next trip would have to be to England when we could manage it. I’d looked up the airfare and it was going to be about $1900 for the two of us to fly, so it was something we’d have to work towards. The next day I went to the local grocery store and checked out my lotto 649 ticket. It won $1993.70! I took that as a very clear sign that maybe we shouldn’t be putting off this trip any longer. When we contacted him to tell him that things could work we found out that things needed to happen sooner rather than later, so we’re off to England on February 8th! Serendipity keeps stepping in and connecting us with people in such a way that the majority of our trip is being accommodated by people that have offered us places to stay and opportunities to tour! It’s been amazing, and the most amazing part is that I’ll get to meet this man who has been such a strong supporter for so long from so far away! What an honor!
Lavenham, Suffolk, England Church of St. Peter and St. Paul
As I mentioned, nature is also conspiring to offer me gifts for the spirit. We go out walking for an hour every morning here, and many times I’ll take my camera along. Last week we walked past a tree where an eagle just sat and posed for as long as I wanted to snap photos.
Bald Ealge posing on Walker's Hook.
The next day a hummingbird who has been spending the winter in our yard decided to simplify my picture taking and perched on the feeder for ages while I snapped away.
The Anna Hummingbird who has made our front yard her home this winter.
Last week a great Heron posed for me when we were touring around Sayward.
. However, Tuesday night offered the most wonderful gift of all! Cecil called me to bring my camera down to the water in front of the house and take some pictures of the star fish that were visible as the tide was out. It was an incredible, still evening, and every rock we looked at had star fish, rock crab and all the other sea life that becomes exposed when the water recedes. As we sat at the waters edge my ears started picking up a subtle ‘piffffttttttt’ in the distance…and I thought to myself “that sounds like whales!”, but everyone has told us they’re not usually around this time of year, nor do they frequent the channel we live on. But as I listened, the sound continued to increase in numbers and intensity…and as we squinted across the channel towards Galiano Island we saw them….a pod of orca’s making their way south. I cannot adequately express my excitement! It was the one thing that I’d wished to have happen all winter…every time I sit at this computer looking out the window, or every morning when we walk down to Fernwood pier as part of our daily ritual….Mother Nature must have heard my silent plea, because there they were in all of their majesty. For anyone that has ever tried to photograph whales, you’ll know that the chances are slim of getting a good picture from that far away, but I did get a picture of one dorsal as it went past across the way…luckily I have dozens of pictures from going out whale watching last summer to refer back to. For this time….I have the memory, and an experience that many who’ve lived here for years have not been graced with. I truly am blessed!
Pod of whales off the coast of the San Juan Island, seen while touring with
Outdoor Visions Whale Watching out of Salt Spring Island in July 2009.
If you want to see the whales, make sure you call Ian of Outdoor Visions!!!
One of the pictures I'm most proud of....didn't even notice the breach until
reviewing the pictures later!!
The season is upon us,and no matter how hard I tried to outrun the holidays this year, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that they are here, they will arrive and carry on as always for the rest of the world, and I need to take the steps that feel right to make it bearable.I have broken down on many fronts.I purchased a small, 24” Christmas tree that sits in the corner by the living room window.Cecil collected greenery to make a wreath for our front door, and the left over holly sits in vases on the tables.We even found that an ancient string of lights around the patio doors work…although there are many holes in the chain….they reflect our hearts in that way.We’ve attended open houses at Salt Spring Cheese to sing carols with Valdy and drink apple cider, we’ve attended choral presentations in churches where we don’t know a living soul, and we’ve sent off the gifts and handmade cards to those back home who we’re missing dearly.
This time of year so heightens the longing that Shane were here by our sides, and although nine months have passed, I don’t miss him one bit less.My heart aches just as deeply, and at moments almost more so than it did in the early days after his death.As far as I’ve travelled from home to distance myself from some of the heartache of loss, I cannot distance myself from the love I have for the son who is gone nor the continuing reminders of the gift that was his life. And that’s the good news, because for whatever else my purposes in this world may be, I know that one of the most critical ones is to remain the keeper of the lessons he provided, and the promoter of the gift that was Shane.
The holidays feel like the right time to remind myself and others of the places and people we’ve been able to touch because of and since the time of his death.Each one is another opportunity for someone, somewhere to know that he was here, and that he left us all a little bit better for having been part of our worlds.
As I’ve mentioned before in posts, Shane taught us all about the importance of inclusion in our regular school systems.I saw over and over what a difference the opportunity to be part of things made in his life, but his death has taught us other things.His death has taught us of the differences his participation made in the lives of those around him.The cards, and emails and notes I’ve received so often in the months since his passing, are testimony to the fact that he started ripples in the world, that we may likely never know the extent of.The people who chose careers in medicine because of him, the people that chose to dedicate their lives to working with other children with his needs, the people who are just better and gentler because of the effect he had.How many of those people will touch other lives and have the ripple continue I wonder.There are lots of things that we’ll never know, but here are a few that I do know for certain.
His experience is being documented in a book that is being written by Community Living where those people touched will be able to share how, and hopefully encourage others by those lessons learned.It’s sad but true, that had Shane not died when he did, we may never have learned many of these things, and maybe that’s all part of what happened and the reasons for it.
There’s also the support I’ve received for the Shane Dickson Memorial Fund, where we are looking for ways to not only recognize the students that he was educated with for their roles in promoting inclusion in their small corner of the world, but I hope that as it continues to grow, we can look further than that.I see that starting to happen as the cd and house concert proceeds continue to add up.
The My-Tobii communications device we waited so long to find.
Then there’s the communication device that we’d gotten for Shane just a year or so before his passing.We’d fundraised hard and long to purchase a device called a MyTobii for him.It was one of the few augmentative devices around that allowed him to use his strongest gift…his eyes….to communicate with people.The technology was amazing in enabling him to focus on what he wanted to communicate, blink or hold his gaze on the subject, and have the computer communicate on his behalf.He didn’t’ have it in his possession long enough to truly share with us all that we know he knew, but he had it long enough to communicate one of the most critical things.“I want to call my Granny and Grandpa”….it was the first thing he said with the technology, and it was the one line that made my Dad’s life at a time when he himself was confined to a wheelchair and respite after his own stroke.“I want to call my Granny and Grandpa”…..it was a magical sentence and one that will remain in our hearts forever.I’ve even come to terms with the fact that his first words weren’t “my Mom is the coolest…I want to call her”…Shane’s wisdom was deeper, and he knew what needed to be said.Only two months later, Dad was gone, but he left us knowing his place in Shane’s heart.
It was unfortunate that finding that technology took so very long, so because of that I chose to donate the device to Open Access Resource Centre in Winnipeg.OARC is a lending library for augmentative communication devices, and one of the few in the country to do what they do.In the twenty years that they’ve been around, they’ve given support to thousands of people to find ways to communicate, when typical language isn’t possible.They were the ones that finally directed us to the possibilities that the MyTobii offered Shane, and helped us to finally get it for him.A big part of my beingable to get through the first day of the new school year this past September, was by delivering it to them, in hopes that other children would not have to wait as long as Shane did to learn of the communication possibilities that existed for them.Yesterday I got a letter from the OARC Executive Director in the mailthat tells me my hope has been granted.“The donation of Shane’s MyTobii will touch many lives and has already begun.A week ago I was out in someone’s home where their daughter is trialing the system and I was totally excited to see how well she was using it.This is a beautiful teenage girl who has had difficulty finding the right way to access her communication system.The family is thrilled to see things finally happening with their daughter and we have Shane to thank for that.”To learn more about the remarkable work that OARC does, check them out at http://www.oarc.ca/
If you’re interested in learning more about the eyegaze technology that we were able to explore, go to http://www.tobii.com/corporate.aspx .It would be a lot easier than me trying to explain it!
Another opportunity to share part of Shane with children who could benefit came a few months ago via the Salt Spring Community forum.I’d been signed up to the forum for months, so that I’d always know what was happening here when we finally arrived.One day there was a call for good used children’s books to be donated to a new school library located in St. Theresa Gayaza School in Uganda. Here’s what I learned about the project in a recent email I received.
The Uganda Library Project
"In 2003, Coming Home Films traveled to Uganda to produce a film about Canadian Dr. Irwin Stewart. At that time, the director and crew met the children and teachers of St. Theresa Gayaza Girls’ School, a co-educational facility located in the village on the outskirts of Kampala.Friendships were made quickly and it was the hope of the film crew that they might return someday to profile one of the children at the school. This hope was realized in February, 2006 when the Coming Home Films’ crew returned to film “Anita’s Africa”, a film designed for Canadian elementary school children. Its purpose was to explore the fundamental ties that bind all children of the global community and to foster in young viewers a sense of responsibility reaching beyond their own community and nation.
The return to St. Theresa’s GirlsSchool also generated another idea and another project. In a school with over 1000 students, teachers had no library and few, if any, learning resources.Classrooms were filled to overflowing with 100-200 students being the norm for a single room in each grade.Children sat on benches which were overcrowded and turn sideways in order to write. Most of these children also came to school hungry, the surrounding community struggling with the difficulties of inadequate food as well as unsafe water and no health services.
Asked by Coming Home Films what could make one difference to the lives of these children, their teachers, and the surrounding community principal Sister Rose was quick to respond: “A library.”During a subsequent tour of the school with the idea of a library foremost, Sister Rose opened the door on a dilapidated classroom, long out of use but with possibilities. Clearly, with renovation and upgrading, this room had the potential to become the new library.
Subsequent meetings were held with school and community officials in Uganda and a tendered budget was prepared by a local construction company. The total required budget was 35,360,900 Ugandan shillings or approximately $22,000 Canadian dollars.
With support from the MayneIsland community and other interested individuals, fundraising for the new library began, a process which lasted three years. Initial construction was started in 2008. In February, 2009, the building was completed and over 2,000 pounds of books, shipped from MayneIsland, were placed on the shelves. For everyone involved, it was a dream come true.
Currently, Coming Home Films is gathering books for a new shipment to Uganda and raising funds for library furniture.
Cheques should be made payable to Coming Home Films Inc.
(please note “Uganda Library Project” on memo line)and mailed to: Box 106, Mayne Island, BCV0N 2J0"
I’d looked at several different possibilities for sharing Shane’s books at home, but the libraries I spoke to at the schools there only wanted a few, or would look them over and see what could be used, and sadly, the children in our lives are more interested in computers and technology, than a collection of books.So I connected with the lady on Salt Spring who was heading up the collection drive here.They were thrilled to take them all, so this past month I got to hand over his collection of over a hundred books that can be enjoyed by both the children in the school that they are going to as well as the entire community.And each book will bear a label that shares with the reader that they’ve been given this gift of literacy in Shane’s memory.They also have a leather bound book that is in the library there, that share stories and pictures of all the people and organizations that have contributed to the creation of the library and the stocking of it.Shane will have a special page in the book as well, so that those who get to enjoy his books will know his story
They also have a leather bound book that is in the library there, that share stories and pictures of all the people and organizations that have contributed to the creation of the library and the stocking of it.Shane will have a special page in the book as well, so that those who get to enjoy his books will know his story.
I hope that as long as I’m around, part of what I’ll be able to do will be to continue to pass along the love and lessons he shared with me.These are a couple of opportunities I’ve found to be able to do this, and writing this journal is another.
I’m going to end today, not with a picture taken here on Salt Spring Island, but rather with a picture I took at home a couple of weeks before we headed west.I’ve mentioned before, I feel like I’m noticing more and more these days, and this was one more thing that caught my eye on the way home from the mailbox south of Lavenham that beautiful day.Like everything else, it made me think of Shane.
Merry Christmas to all of you, and the all the best in 2010.
