The Shack

Life can be so ironic sometimes, can't it? Last June I got back into my walking program, and things were going very well with it. When our summer ended, I dug out the treadmill so I could continue my walking through the winter, as conditions make it so hard to walk in these hills of mine in the winter months. My treadmill is now down in the garage/concert hall....and to help speed the 45 minutes along, I found that my walk time provides my reading time.

In February one of the books I read was "The Shack" by William P. Young, on the advise of several friends. "The Shack" follows the story of Mack, a man who tragically loses his young daughter and the transformation of him and his family in the aftermath. Here I am six weeks later, realizing the depth of the despair that Mack and Nan were dealing with in the book...I'm not going to go any further into it than that, but there was one particular section that stuck with me and hit a chord very deep in me. It's when Mack is in the cave, the walls become clear, and through them he can see Missy playing with her siblings. When asked if all the children are have died, his companion at that stage says no, they are dreaming....those we lose reach out to us in our dreams, to connect and spend time with us, and keep us close to them in their heaven. I loved that thought, as I've always been such a vivid dreamer, and have always been able to keep those I've lost with me in dreams....last night I finally got to dream with Shane, and the feeling of comfort from just dreaming about holding him in my arms, and watching him sleep, and being able to stroke his hair and tell him how much I loved him was so wonderful....it made waking up a little harder I think, but it's worth the hard to be in that place with him, if only for minutes. In the dream I ran into a friend who's worked closely with him at school and said "look whose with me! isn't this wonderful", and she was trying to tell me that "Lynda, he's gone, this is wrong...", but I was adamant that it was okay, he was with me and would be forever....and I know that's the way it is from here on...he is with me....

We're into April now...and look at the lovely view from my deck yesterday morning.....this is bizarre how the winter refuses to leave this year (made worse by how early it seemed to arrive!). And today's forecast? Chance of snow...what else. I remember previous years when people were hitting the fields up here in the hills....it'll be a while this year, that's for sure.

The bad weather is making the calving more difficult than it needs to be. We bumped our calving to April several years ago, to give the animals the chance to birth when the snow and cold were gone....not sure what happened with that plan, but it sure isn't working out again this year. The saving grace is that it has to be gone soon....but we're starting to wonder.

There's not too much else at the moment...trying to focus a little on work and get into a new groove. It's hard to do, but I think it's good to have a few hours a day where my mind gets distracted by something other than the quiet here. It's a strange time.....

Lynda

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