Just before 9:30pm on Tuesday, March 10, 2009, I learned what what it feels like for the world as you know it to be ripped from the very heart of you, as life changes for ever and always. Shane was just a little 'off'...we weren't sure what he was struggling with, but decided that being in hospital for observation was the safest bet. After 36 hours of not feeling great, he finally settled. We watched American Idol so he'd be up on the conversation at school when he got back to it, he closed his beautiful blue eyes, I made up the cot they gave me and turned off the light. Twenty minutes later, it occurred to me that I couldn't here his breathing, which had been noticeable with the head cold..I jumped out of bed, turned on the light, and realized the world as I've known it for 17 years was gone.
The past 3 days have been a blur of phone calls, visits, arrangements and head shaking...trying to make sense of the unfathomable. What a nightmare....and try as I might, I just can't wake up from it. I don't know where the tears keep coming from, but they do keep coming...and coming....and coming.....God I miss my boy.....
The funeral is planned for Sunday..and I hope I have all the basis covered. Songs I've written to support other people through the struggles of loss, are suddenly becoming part of the ceremony that will support me through my own...
For me, I wish I had the courage to get up and share what Shane meant to me, but I know I can't. The recessional song is 'Heroes' that was written for and with Shane, and that says so much about how he's got me through so many things, and who he helped me to become....he was my mentor, my teacher, and the very best parts of me.....I owe him so very much for the lessons he taught, and the love and patience he showed and the honor granted to just be his mom. I'm attaching a jpeg with the poem 'Welcome to Holland'...I kept this poem taped to my dresser mirror for over 16 years, and always called Shane my little dutch boy...because he took me to Holland, and the journey was remarkable....I can't believe how lost I am without him her to guide me....and I just hope that today his new legs are taking him to every corner of the universe that his heart desired to see...and his voice is celebrating and sharing all the wisdom his soul has gathered ....Shane....I will miss you forever, and love you for always...Forever and always, my baby you'll be. Love you so much sweetheart...
His Obituary reads as follows:
It is with deepest sorrow that we announce the sudden passing of Shane Allan James Dickson, age 17, of Lavenham, Manitoba on Tuesday, March 10th, with his mother by his side.
Left to mourn his loss, and forever cherish his memory, are his parents Lynda and Cecil Turner, siblings Bill (Robin), Lisa (Adam), Kathy (Tim), John (Corinna), Bianca (Josh) and Anthony. He will be sadly missed by Grandparents Vera Dickson, and Delmer and Shirley Dobbin, and lovingly remembered by many aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins, as well as countless friends and classmates. Shane was predeceased by his father Greg Dobbin (2001), Grandpa Jim Dickson (2008) and Grandma Hazel Turner (2008).
Shane was born January 18, 1992 in Winnipeg. Shane’s physical struggles began early in life, with a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy, but the struggles and challenges never weakened his resilient spirit or his infectious laugh. While many people spend decades waiting to learn what their purpose in life might turn out to be, Shane’s became clear at a very early age, as he became an ambassador for children with special needs to the greater community. His beautiful eyes and his knowing smile opened many people’s eyes and hearts to the possibilities within a child with such differing needs. In his short 17 years, Shane started a ripple of understanding that will be felt by hundreds of people for years to come, and anyone who knew him will never forget him.
Shane loved people! His greatest joy was in being surrounded by friends and family. He loved school and being in the center of it all both at the Elementary and Collegiate schools of MacGregor, where he was in Grade 11. The MacGregor staff and student body provided Shane with an educational experience that was second to none, and provided the country with a living example of what inclusion in schools really, truly looks like. There wasn’t one day when a hoot of joy didn’t erupt from Shane, when he heard the bus coming for him, because he couldn’t get enough of the time spent with peers.
Physical limitations didn’t hinder his opportunities for travel, swimming, 4-wheeling, snowmobiling, camping, or tobogganing. There were very few things that he missed having the chance to try, and leaves us knowing his seventeen short years were packed with a lifetime full of memories and adventures. He knew what it was to have true, lifelong friendships, and he knew what it meant to be truly loved by all those around you. He was also able to teach us that physical abilities can’t limit a spirit, or a person’s sense of joy, as he spent his life teaching all of us those lessons.
There are so many amazing things happening....in a world where 50 yea
rs ago, a child with his needs might have come and gone without so much as a marking on his grave...here we are struggling to find a building that will accommodate the crowd that has embraced him. There's a FaceBook page dedicated to his memory, that grows by the hour, with words of condolences and celebration for the gifts he offered. It's all so overwhelming right now, but in the days to come, I hope to gather the strength to share with the world, who he was, and the lessons he taught us all...but for now, I just need to close my eyes and remember the child that was mine.
The past 3 days have been a blur of phone calls, visits, arrangements and head shaking...trying to make sense of the unfathomable. What a nightmare....and try as I might, I just can't wake up from it. I don't know where the tears keep coming from, but they do keep coming...and coming....and coming.....God I miss my boy.....
The funeral is planned for Sunday..and I hope I have all the basis covered. Songs I've written to support other people through the struggles of loss, are suddenly becoming part of the ceremony that will support me through my own...
For me, I wish I had the courage to get up and share what Shane meant to me, but I know I can't. The recessional song is 'Heroes' that was written for and with Shane, and that says so much about how he's got me through so many things, and who he helped me to become....he was my mentor, my teacher, and the very best parts of me.....I owe him so very much for the lessons he taught, and the love and patience he showed and the honor granted to just be his mom. I'm attaching a jpeg with the poem 'Welcome to Holland'...I kept this poem taped to my dresser mirror for over 16 years, and always called Shane my little dutch boy...because he took me to Holland, and the journey was remarkable....I can't believe how lost I am without him her to guide me....and I just hope that today his new legs are taking him to every corner of the universe that his heart desired to see...and his voice is celebrating and sharing all the wisdom his soul has gathered ....Shane....I will miss you forever, and love you for always...Forever and always, my baby you'll be. Love you so much sweetheart...His Obituary reads as follows:
It is with deepest sorrow that we announce the sudden passing of Shane Allan James Dickson, age 17, of Lavenham, Manitoba on Tuesday, March 10th, with his mother by his side.
Left to mourn his loss, and forever cherish his memory, are his parents Lynda and Cecil Turner, siblings Bill (Robin), Lisa (Adam), Kathy (Tim), John (Corinna), Bianca (Josh) and Anthony. He will be sadly missed by Grandparents Vera Dickson, and Delmer and Shirley Dobbin, and lovingly remembered by many aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins, as well as countless friends and classmates. Shane was predeceased by his father Greg Dobbin (2001), Grandpa Jim Dickson (2008) and Grandma Hazel Turner (2008).
Shane was born January 18, 1992 in Winnipeg. Shane’s physical struggles began early in life, with a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy, but the struggles and challenges never weakened his resilient spirit or his infectious laugh. While many people spend decades waiting to learn what their purpose in life might turn out to be, Shane’s became clear at a very early age, as he became an ambassador for children with special needs to the greater community. His beautiful eyes and his knowing smile opened many people’s eyes and hearts to the possibilities within a child with such differing needs. In his short 17 years, Shane started a ripple of understanding that will be felt by hundreds of people for years to come, and anyone who knew him will never forget him.
Shane loved people! His greatest joy was in being surrounded by friends and family. He loved school and being in the center of it all both at the Elementary and Collegiate schools of MacGregor, where he was in Grade 11. The MacGregor staff and student body provided Shane with an educational experience that was second to none, and provided the country with a living example of what inclusion in schools really, truly looks like. There wasn’t one day when a hoot of joy didn’t erupt from Shane, when he heard the bus coming for him, because he couldn’t get enough of the time spent with peers.
Physical limitations didn’t hinder his opportunities for travel, swimming, 4-wheeling, snowmobiling, camping, or tobogganing. There were very few things that he missed having the chance to try, and leaves us knowing his seventeen short years were packed with a lifetime full of memories and adventures. He knew what it was to have true, lifelong friendships, and he knew what it meant to be truly loved by all those around you. He was also able to teach us that physical abilities can’t limit a spirit, or a person’s sense of joy, as he spent his life teaching all of us those lessons.
There are so many amazing things happening....in a world where 50 yea
rs ago, a child with his needs might have come and gone without so much as a marking on his grave...here we are struggling to find a building that will accommodate the crowd that has embraced him. There's a FaceBook page dedicated to his memory, that grows by the hour, with words of condolences and celebration for the gifts he offered. It's all so overwhelming right now, but in the days to come, I hope to gather the strength to share with the world, who he was, and the lessons he taught us all...but for now, I just need to close my eyes and remember the child that was mine.
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