This last couple of weeks have been so terribly heartbreaking, but at another level, they have also been strangely renewing for the values and beliefs that I hold so dearly. I don't know where I would have been, or would be now for that matter, were it not for the people and relationships in my life. I can't even imagine what this would have been like to walk through without all the calls, visits, notes and emails, that still pop up daily just to say 'I'm thinking of you'. It's been what's pulled me through, and continues to help me get up each morning.Take this beautiful, beautiful picture that was adjusted and adorned with one of Maya Angelou's quotes, then posted for me. It's these thoughtful little gestures and reminders from the people who's lives we've touch and who have in turn touched ours, that makes every new day possible.
And it's not just the friends that we see on a regular basis that so amaze me...it's the friends that have reached out across time and miles....people who touched my life a million years ago and have connected to say 'I'm still here for you' , and people who only know me through the cyberworld, but who've made the effort to say "I care"...it all matters so very much right now.
I actually waded back into the world of my work life this week, only for two days, in a very closed session...so that I was surrounded and supported by 'my people', but not overwhelmed with what my heart couldn't handle. It was good to get outside of my little box for a couple of days, but very good to come back and crawl back into my cocoon...still it was a start, and I know I need to start somewhere. This new world is just so foreign from the way things were, and to stay in this place of just being, rather than doing, is almost more than my heart can handle right now, so maybe the time has come to try and start to make my way in the world, even if just a little at a time, once more.
It's snowing, and snowing, and snowing again....we're just days away from starting the calving season...with 100 cows ready to explode...but I sure hope they'll wait for a couple more days. It looks much like January again here, which sucks when we're just days away from April! Lots of fear around the potential for flooding this year as well. Luckily we're up in the hills, and don't have to worry about that, but that doesn't spare you from thinking of the others that aren't so safe right now. Hopefully all the work that's been done in the past years provincially to protect from this happening will allow people to stay dry and protected.
For now I'll keep moving along, trying to figure which direction I need to head in any given day, to maneuver myself to where I don't even know I'm going. Lost without a map, but gratefully not alone on my journey....my love and thanks to all of you.
Lynda
http://www.musicwriter.ca/
2 comments:
The picture is incredibly beautiful. Even without the quote, the sense of love, peace and fulfillment it exudes is so powerful. I am near tears as I type this. There are not many in this world who have had the opportunity to feel even a fraction of the love that is so clearly evident here. Again, my thoughts are with you! One day at a time. Take things at your own pace. I'm so sorry!
Hi Tom,
Once again, thankyou for your kind words and your support at this crazy, heartbreaking time. I love what she did with that picture, and as I've stared at it over the past many days, I think it might be the cover of the next cd...and from there the title I've struggled with will come...it may simply be "Life"....I'm putting all of that off until I can record a couple more songs that have cropped up inside me, then I'll move forward.
Now you go and give your son the biggest hug in the world...and give him one from me to (that's what I miss more than anything...all the hugs)....maybe part of my journey, and your connection to it, is just to remind other parents how absolutely priceless our own children are. I hope also that each person who finds a connection in some what to all of this, will take that with them as well as they move into the world, and work with thier healthy children to help them know that each child needs to be noticed, accepted, and included...no matter how different they're mobility or communication styles might be...I beleive that was a huge part of my beautiful boys message and purpose.
Thanks so much again...take care,
Lynda
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